I suddenly remembered last night, a ride home from seeing Kung Fu Panda 2 with my Dad and us briefly talking about how that movie bothered me in ways that were uncomfortable. There were scenes in there about Po, the panda, and his adoption. In fact the majority of the movie is the story about his adoption and how he came to be the son of a duck, his adoptive father.

I had cried in that movie theatre earlier that night for reasons still unknown to me. I guess I would have to watch that movie again to "reevaluate" my feelings. But the part of the flashback I had last night that really struck me was the conversation my Dad and I had on the way home from the movie theatre. *This is how I remember the conversation*  I said "That movie really bothered me Dad." My father replied "Oh really? How so?" ....long pause.... "It was about the adoption aspect of the movie Dad." I said, more tears streaming down my face, which luckily he could not see in the darkness of the car. ....another long pause.... "Well...how so?" he said, sounding kind of shocked. Now this is the part that surprised me, looking back on this moment last night. I suddenly out of nowhere, snapped "I don't want to talk about it Dad!"

That was the end of that conversation. We never spoke on the subject again...until this past year.

On the first night of the new year, everything seemed to zoom in on my life really fast, and it became increasingly apparent that I was going home in 3 months. I suddenly broke down and started crying, telling my Dad that I was not ready to go home, I pleaded him for us to cancel the trip and go when the time was right. But he refused and simply stated we were going no matter what the circumstances. Ready or not ready. I will never forget that night. And I will probably laugh at this moment when I return home. But for right now, all that I need to do is prepare. Physically, mentally, and above all... emotionally, for it has not been an easy preparation so far, and nor, I assume will the journey. But it will be something I will never forget. Never.